I only blogged one last week. Sorry about that.
I’ve been in a bit of a funk really. I started some new medication and it really took it out of me.
I’m usually pretty upbeat and my glass is always half full but I feel like it is slowly emptying.
Whenever someone asks me “what is taking you so long to get pregnant” or “When are you planning on having children”, I feel the heat rise up through my body and my face gets red and I feel like spitting venom out. All I can say is “when the time is right” and hope that shuts them up.
The side effects of my medication that I have had were chronic headaches, one night it was so bad that whenever I lay my head down I was yelping in pain and the nurofen did nothing. The Husband thought I was having a brain aneurism. I had to take the next day off work as it was still really bad and I had no sleep. It hurt to move.
I’ve also had terrible hot flushes. One hot flush was so bad that I put my head in the fridge at work. I was literally dripping with sweat, red all over and generally going insane. That was my worst one so far, but during the night I tend to get little heat flushes and then go back to freezing. I cannot win.
The most annoying side effects has probably been that I have been highly emotional. I was watching I Am Legend (which I have watched 10000 times) and bawled my eyes out during it, which is unusual for me, and then was left feeling quite anxious and apprehensive about what was going to come next so badly that I had to turn off the TV and go to bed. I’m never normally like this!
I wrote this and then I deleted it.
I must have deleted and rewrote it 4 times before saving the post, closing the page and considering whether or not to post it over night.
I decided that I should post it because I have never held back on this blog before.
I know that I should not be embarrassed about it, and I am sure there are lots of other women out there who go through this and have nobody to talk to, but I cant help but be embarrassed by it. I’m a young girlwomanthing, I wont lie, I thought I would get pregnant within months.
I’m taking clomid which is fertility medication to help me ovulate. Apparently I don’t ovulate enough to get pregnant or some crap like that.
It was pretty disheartening after having all of my progesterone blood tests done and my doctor told me that not only did I have cysts on my ovaries, PCO but that I was also not ovulating and therefore would not be falling pregnant without some help.
I stood on Bourke Street in the city and cried outside the doctors surgery for ages. I rang The Husband and told him and he said that it was good news, not bad news. If I didn’t find this out now then who knows how long we would have tried to no avail.
I changed doctors early this year after my normal GP told me he thought that I was six weeks pregnant in December. I wasn’t. Thanks dude. Way to not do a blood test, and throw out predications like that without anything to back it up except for an absent period.
Anyway, I haven’t told that many people that I am on clomid so to all of my friends and family who are reading this, sorry if I haven’t told you and you think that I should have. Its all out there now.
In the end, so many women have fertility issues and lots of women can not get pregnant at all so I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining, and I should be considering them, but I am allowed to feel a little bit lost too. If you are having/have had fertility issues, I really hope that this doesn’t come across as insensitive or moaning too much, I really don’t want it to be like that.
I just need a little bit of luck on my side.
So, the moral of this story is, keep your fingers crossed that it works and gets the job done!
In brighter news, I got a new jacket from Zara and it is freaking amazing. I have already worn it every day since I got it.
How could you not love it?! It is yellow for crying out loud!
You had better believe that I will be buying it in every colour that I see.
I’m still wearing my Zara Childrens Cardigan, don’t worry
I told you I have gotten in a funk. I’m glad I’m back on the peel bandwagon again though, they really are fantastic.
My pimples are just spreading and multiplying and have even moved into my hair. WHY?!
This blue light contractions shows up oil and all that other grossness.
I hope you are not eating when you see this.
And before I get the obligatory ‘you should be thankful for you skin, some people have NO skin’ comment, everything is relative and if I want to complain about it, I damn well will. You really don’t have to read it. This is a very complaint centred post.
My skin is looking rather glowy after the peel, and it didn’t even hurt. Success.
My friend Sam has started her own candle making business, called Coast – Natural Soy Wax Candles! I’m all about supporting small businesses, and friends, so thought I would share the love on here.
I ordered this Coconut & Lime candle ($25).
My Coconut & Lime candle is sitting on my desk at work, and it is omitting the most amazing smell even though it has not been lit yet! People are walking past and licking their lips I tell you.
You can buy them on the Coast Facebook page, HERE
I tried to be fancy and use rhinestones on my Dior – Plaza manicure but it was a fail.
I went to Senoritas with cotton socks instead of going to boxing last week. Just how I like it.
Essie – Fiji.
Standard pastel pink but it takes 4 coats to look good. Mine is a streaky mess.
The Husband and I went to see Dark Shadows on Friday night and I really enjoyed it.
He fell asleep about 10 minutes into it and as were stuck in the third front row, I had my head on his shoulder so I could look up at the screen comfortably. At one point his head kind of lolled around and I whispered “you can rest your head on mine” as I thought that would be more comfortable for him. He snapped back something in gibberish. Maybe it was Serbian, I am not sure but it sounded like he was speaking in tongues. Weird.
He maintains that he just said “shhhhh” but let me tell you, he was a freak.
Speaking of freaks, Johnny Depp is awesome. The end of the movie was too weird for me though.
2 coats of Sephora by OPI – Opening Night
1 coat of OPI – DS Magic
1 accent nail of China Glaze – Snowglobe.
I was intending on wearing my new blue dress to dinner this night so thought I would go all Beyonce on y’all and rock a blue nail.
Of course, we had Mothers Day on Sunday.
I took my mum out to China Bar, along with Joseph, Emma and Grant. The service was not very good this time as they were crazy packed but the food was still good!
How weird is that guy in the back. He has a proper cone head. I’m impressed.
My China Glaze polishes arrived from OzSale.com.au last Friday. Yipppeeeee.
I got Snowglobe & Nova. I was obviously holding back.
On Saturday, that man that I so fondly call The Husband came home with a new coffee machine, a pod one.
The only issue with this is that we received a coffee machine as a wedding gift and have not used it yet. So now we have 2 coffee machines. The pod one is super easy though, which is what I like to hear.
Apparently the lady in Myer made him a cup of coffee and then he felt obliged to buy it, or something like that.
I’m happy, now I don’t need to trek down the street to get him a coffee on the weekend.
Well, okay, I’ve only done that twice, I usually say No. But still!
Two blog posts so far this week. I’m already on top of my game!!