May 15, 2012

Yellow Jacket, Clomid, Mexican & Stuff.

I only blogged one last week. Sorry about that.

I’ve been in a bit of a funk really. I started some new medication and it really took it out of me.



I’m usually pretty upbeat and my glass is always half full but I feel like it is slowly emptying.



Whenever someone asks me “what is taking you so long to get pregnant” or “When are you planning on having children”, I feel the heat rise up through my body and my face gets red and I feel like spitting venom out. All I can say is “when the time is right” and hope that shuts them up.


The side effects of my medication that I have had were chronic headaches, one night it was so bad that whenever I lay my head down I was yelping in pain and the nurofen did nothing. The Husband thought I was having a brain aneurism. I had to take the next day off work as it was still really bad and I had no sleep. It hurt to move.

I’ve also had terrible hot flushes. One hot flush was so bad that I put my head in the fridge at work. I was literally dripping with sweat, red all over and generally going insane. That was my worst one so far, but during the night I tend to get little heat flushes and then go back to freezing. I cannot win.

The most annoying side effects has probably been that I have been highly emotional. I was watching I Am Legend (which I have watched 10000 times) and bawled my eyes out during it, which is unusual for me, and then was left feeling quite anxious and apprehensive about what was going to come next so badly that I had to turn off the TV and go to bed. I’m never normally like this!



I wrote this and then I deleted it.

I must have deleted and rewrote it 4 times before saving the post, closing the page and considering whether or not to post it over night.



I decided that I should post it because I have never held back on this blog before.
I know that I should not be embarrassed about it, and I am sure there are lots of other women out there who go through this and have nobody to talk to, but I cant help but be embarrassed by it. I’m a young girlwomanthing, I wont lie, I thought I would get pregnant within months.

I’m taking clomid which is fertility medication to help me ovulate. Apparently I don’t ovulate enough to get pregnant or some crap like that.

It was pretty disheartening after having all of my progesterone blood tests done and my doctor told me that not only did I have cysts on my ovaries, PCO but that I was also not ovulating and therefore would not be falling pregnant without some help.

I stood on Bourke Street in the city and cried outside the doctors surgery for ages. I rang The Husband and told him and he said that it was good news, not bad news. If I didn’t find this out now then who knows how long we would have tried to no avail.

I changed doctors early this year after my normal GP told me he thought that I was six weeks pregnant in December. I wasn’t. Thanks dude. Way to not do a blood test, and throw out predications like that without anything to back it up except for an absent period.

Anyway, I haven’t told that many people that I am on clomid so to all of my friends and family who are reading this, sorry if I haven’t told you and you think that I should have. Its all out there now.

In the end, so many women have fertility issues and lots of women can not get pregnant at all so I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining, and I should be considering them, but I am allowed to feel a little bit lost too. If you are having/have had fertility issues, I really hope that this doesn’t come across as insensitive or moaning too much, I really don’t want it to be like that.

I just need a little bit of luck on my side. 


So, the moral of this story is, keep your fingers crossed that it works and gets the job done!


In brighter news, I got a new jacket from Zara and it is freaking amazing. I have already worn it every day since I got it.

How could you not love it?! It is yellow for crying out loud!


You had better believe that I will be buying it in every colour that I see.


I’m still wearing my Zara Childrens Cardigan, don’t worry



I headed to Miss Fox on Friday to get my eyebrows and mustache threaded (it still hurts like hell) and after Victoria heard me whining about my skin and how I have given up on it, and life, she whisked me upstairs for a peel.

I told you I have gotten in a funk. I’m glad I’m back on the peel bandwagon again though, they really are fantastic.

My pimples are just spreading and multiplying and have even moved into my hair. WHY?!


This blue light contractions shows up oil and all that other grossness.

I hope you are not eating when you see this.

And before I get the obligatory ‘you should be thankful for you skin, some people have NO skin’ comment, everything is relative and if I want to complain about it, I damn well will. You really don’t have to read it. This is a very complaint centred post.



My skin is looking rather glowy after the peel, and it didn’t even hurt. Success. 



My friend Sam has started her own candle making business, called Coast – Natural Soy Wax Candles! I’m all about supporting small businesses, and friends, so thought I would share the love on here.

I ordered this Coconut & Lime candle ($25).


My Coconut & Lime candle is sitting on my desk at work, and it is omitting the most amazing smell even though it has not been lit yet! People are walking past and licking their lips I tell you. 



You can buy them on the Coast Facebook page, HERE  



I tried to be fancy and use rhinestones on my Dior – Plaza manicure but it was a fail. 



I went to Senoritas with cotton socks instead of going to boxing last week. Just how I like it. 





Essie – Fiji.

Standard pastel pink but it takes 4 coats to look good. Mine is a streaky mess. 



The Husband and I went to see Dark Shadows on Friday night and I really enjoyed it.

He fell asleep about 10 minutes into it and as were stuck in the third front row, I had my head on his shoulder so I could look up at the screen comfortably. At one point his head kind of lolled around and I whispered “you can rest your head on mine” as I thought that would be more comfortable for him. He snapped back something in gibberish. Maybe it was Serbian, I am not sure but it sounded like he was speaking in tongues. Weird.

He maintains that he just said “shhhhh” but let me tell you, he was a freak.

Speaking of freaks, Johnny Depp is awesome. The end of the movie was too weird for me though. 

2 coats of Sephora by OPI – Opening Night
1 coat of OPI – DS Magic
1 accent nail of China Glaze – Snowglobe.

I was intending on wearing my new blue dress to dinner this night so thought I would go all Beyonce on y’all and rock a blue nail.


Of course, we had Mothers Day on Sunday.

I took my mum out to China Bar, along with Joseph, Emma and Grant. The service was not very good this time as they were crazy packed but the food was still good! 


How weird is that guy in the back. He has a proper cone head. I’m impressed. 


My China Glaze polishes arrived from OzSale.com.au last Friday. Yipppeeeee.

I got Snowglobe & Nova. I was obviously holding back.  


On Saturday, that man that I so fondly call The Husband came home with a new coffee machine, a pod one.

The only issue with this is that we received a coffee machine as a wedding gift and have not used it yet. So now we have 2 coffee machines. The pod one is super easy though, which is what I like to hear.

Apparently the lady in Myer made him a cup of coffee and then he felt obliged to buy it, or something like that.

I’m happy, now I don’t need to trek down the street to get him a coffee on the weekend.

Well, okay, I’ve only done that twice, I usually say No. But still! 

Two blog posts so far this week. I’m already on top of my game!!

214 comments:

  1. at least yuo can have lots of baby making practice - read sexy times - in the wait :) i have faith. your banging body isn't going to betray you although at times it can feel like everything is going wrong - you are wonderful and great and you'll have a baby not cos you deserve one but because thats how things work. positive positive energy sister thats what i'm pushing out to you :)

    love.

    ps i still want rainbow cake. maybe if you bake lots of rainbow cakes you'll have univorns and rainbows and my little poines and fun stuff forevs.
    sorry
    tangent
    but

    big love xxx

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh yeah, the practising is fun lol.

      You can totally bake the cake, If I can do it, you can do it!!!!!

      Delete
    2. also have a good chinese medicine doctor to rec - ill text you her details. high success rate with this kind of stuff
      xx and nah i can't do cakes - remember the duck cake! ha! x

      Delete
  2. oh Mez :( i really feel for you! I know that I am so excited & eager to have kids once I'm married (my friends roll their eyes at me) and i am already scared at the thought that it might be a really hard process. i will say lots of prayers for you & hope that things start to improve!!!xxx

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Don't worry, mine rolled their eyes too :P

      Do not be scared that it will be hard, you don't want to stress your body prematurely!! Scheduling 'romance' is already bad enough hahahahhaa.

      Delete
  3. I was holding back tears, then. You sound so, so frustrated, and you are allowed to be. I truly hope that you become pregnant very, very soon.

    Just keep swimmin' and keep your chin up!

    stina

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    1. Aw I don't want to be a Debby Downer!! Thank you xx

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  4. Hang in there, M!!!!

    It will happen. I have everything crossed for you.

    SSG xxx

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  5. I know from reading your blog for some time now how keen you are to have kids!

    Sorry to hear what you've been going through, & thank you for sharing your story x

    Sending positive vibes your way x

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  6. It will happen in time. and when it does all the heartache will be worth it. it would be frustrating trying and waiting but Dont let it get u down. You have all the supports you need in place. your baby is on its way to you xx

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you, you are definitely right - it will all be worth it!

      Delete
  7. That yellow Zara jacket is amazing.

    Sending you warm and happy thoughts from San fancisco, and some hugs too.

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  8. You should not feel bad about being upset and complaining. Yes, plenty of women have fertility issues and yes, there are women out there who have worse issues than you. That doesn’t mean you can’t be upset and frustrated about your own personal situation.

    I have had other health problems that I have been embarrassed about in the past. It’s amazing how much better and relieved you can feel once you’ve talked to someone about it (or vented on a blog!) and realise that it’s a hell of a lot more common than you think. You’ve got to remember that with a lot of these types of situations, plenty of people are embarrassed about it so they don’t talk openly about it and no one else hears about it. It doesn't mean you have to talk to each and every person you know about it, but you are definitely not alone.

    Good luck with it all, I’m sure it will happen when the time is right (I bet you’ve heard that a lot too…). Keep your head up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are right, it is good to talk about it and realise that you are not alone.

      Thanks so much x

      Delete
  9. Love to you, sweetheart! Here's hoping your ovaries get the kick into gear that they need and that you're pregnant SOON!
    Xoxo

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  10. Hugs and hugs to you. Some people are so insensitive, just tell the snoopy ones that you are following a new program and abstaining until the stars and moons align to do it, to try to have children, then turn and walk away, that will shut them up with bewilderment!!

    I am sure you have not shared it all here. However do offload ALL of what's going on in your head to your hubby, trusted relos and friends, they are the net all set to catch you if and when you need it!

    You are young and have heaps of time, all good things come to those who wait, and follow docs orders! Just keep on pushing forward and ride the horrid waves the medication is giving you.
    You are doing everything you can at this stage to get you to your goal!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Hahahahahahaha I am seriously going to say that to someone, what a reaction that will evoke!

      Thanks for the well wishes xx

      Delete
  11. It took us ages to have Baby G. I know how you feel, I never thought I wound have dramas but I did. I know it doesn't help, but you are young and there is plenty of time ahead of you. I'm not going to say not to stress (because that is insane) but have faith. The universe works in mysterious ways.

    Lots of fingers and toes are crossed for you!

    Kitty xx

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    1. Thank you! Isn't Baby G worth all of that pain xx

      Delete
  12. Awww mez I'm really sorry about what you've been going through.. I can't explain how much I want you to get preggers and I believe when the time is right, you WILL. I think you and S would be great parents (what with all the cute kid stuff you've been getting) so your baby will just have to come so you can bury her in all your love.

    Also, you've only been trying for a about 8 months right? From when you got married? You need to be a little more patient! Give it time.. I'll be praying for you whenever it pops into my mind - even if it's 10 times a day.

    You're gonna get a beautiful baby when the time is right. Pleeeaaase keep positive :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh my. See how much I want you to have a baby and have already predicted it's going to be a girl? ('her') That little angel (boy/girl) is coming your way soon yo. BEST BELIEVE.

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    2. Hahahaha I totally think we will have a girl first too!! S wants a boy, but you know, whatevs.

      Delete
  13. I'm so sorry to hear this! Keep thinking positive cos it will happen!

    Hoping everything picks up for you and that you adjust to the new meds etc.

    Thinking of you x

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  14. Hi Mez :) I've been lurking around your blog for ages & have never commented, but just wanted to let you know I really feel for you. You'll be a fantastic mother when the time comes, and it will come. xxx

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  15. ^ If SSG's advice doesn't help I don't know who's will.

    Above everything, DO NOT be ashamed. You have every right to feel disappointed that this hasn't happened as easily as you'd have liked, but absolutely NO RIGHT to feel at fault because of it.

    As for those harassing you, I guess how you handle that is up to you. I'm a pretty up front person though, so I'd probably say straight up that I was trying and it wasn't happening and their comments were less than helping. Particularly that mother-in-law of yours, read your comments on twitter. S needs to mention to her that she's upsetting you. And lets face it, your hormones are going crazy enough at the moment that your emotions are hard to deal with. You DO NOT need external factors adding to your pain.

    And by all means vent. We love you and we love your blog, which means we love hearing about every part of your life that you're willing to share with us.

    Keeping my fingers crossed for you xx

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  16. I love the Zara Jacket and the blue nail polish! Very nice.

    On a more serious note you should be so so proud for opening up and telling everyone what you are going through. I bet it is helping someone else out there going through the same thing and it helps to let it out as well. I hope the side effects calm down and things work your way soon. You deserve every happiness in the world and I hope your baby dreams come true. <3

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    1. Thanks! I hope it does help someone else and I definitely feel better for spilling!

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  17. i'm currently on day 41 of my cycle with a few negative tests and no period in sight
    i'm thinking about going and getting some tests done but we are only in month 5 of trying and that is after being on Yasmin for 7 years, i'm not sure if i'm over-reacting

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thats lovely Meg.......I hope your baby gets more of a brain than you.

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    2. Now now! None of that :P

      Meg, it wouldn't hurt to see your doctor if you are concerned. Hopefully your home tests are wrong and you just don't have enough hcg to show up in a home test. A blood test will put your mind at ease!

      Delete
    3. Thanks Mez

      not sure what is up with anonymous :(

      Delete
    4. No worries! If the tests are correct in being negative, just have fun with the baby making :P

      Delete
  18. You are so very brave to write such an honest post. It's a very difficult topic.

    I hope the medication side effects calm down soon and it kicks in and does what it's supposed to.

    xxx

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    1. It is difficult to write about but I feel better for doing it!

      Delete
  19. and here i am wishing that i dont get pregnant and thankful when my period comes!
    so different to hear what youre going through, but for your sake i hope a baby comes to you soon - i know you'd be a great mum :)

    by the way - i went to china bar (in burwood) after reading your post on it and i LOVED it. best. :D

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    1. hahahaha I feel like we spend so long wishing we don't get pregnant that we train our bodies not to!

      Mmmmmm China Bar. Yum.

      Delete
  20. I'm so glad you made this post. I agree completely that this kind of stuff should be talked about more so women (and their partners) don't feel like they are going through it alone, and so that if it happens to us we have some idea of what to expect. A friend of mine went through a similar process and it really opened my eyes to how difficult it can be. Their baby girl turns one soon and if you asked them they'd tell you without any hesitation that all the stress, arguments and side effects were completely worth it. I'm sure you'll find similar happiness in your own time, there are so many options for women now <3

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    1. Thanks! I regretted it after I published it but then changed my mind.

      I bet it will all be worth it! xx

      Delete
  21. I am so sorry. Infertility sucks balls.

    I know how much it hurts. It hurts that sometimes it love you say the most horrible things when they should seems endless, and lonely and that people who should just give you a cuddle.

    People can be a-holes. That's one thing I've learnt on this journey.

    Another thing I've learnt?

    That my husband and I are absolutely perfect for one another. A baby might not be 'meant to be' for us, but we sure are.

    I don't know how, but I know that we always pull through. So will you.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Haha, yes it does suck balls.

      Thanks for such a great message, lots of wisdom right there xx

      Delete
  22. you are so brave to document your personal journey Mez! the side effects of clomid sound pretty bad, I am not familiar with fertility treatments so are these side effects the norm? can you try some other fertility drug? keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you regardless! :)

    ps. you must relate to how khloe kardashian feels when everyone asks her - why arent you pregnannnttt yet? lol

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    1. They are definitely the norm! Along with migraines, abdominal cramps and swelling, weight gain etc. All the good stuff, right!?

      xx

      Delete
  23. Hi Mez, sending lots of positive baby vibes your way! I know many people that fell pregnant with clomid and you are so young and healthy that will definitely help you too. You should also do some research into acupuncture and chiro's who assist with fertility, I know its alternative medicine but definitely worth a shot (in conjunction with traditional medicine of course!). Even yoga might help relax your body and mind. Alot of people say as soon as they stopped stressing and relaxed about it thats when something happened. xx

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    1. Thank you for the wisdom! I am going to look into acupuncture for sure, even if it just takes my mind off of things.

      I want to start yoga!

      Delete
  24. So sorry you have to go through this. I got told last month that it'll take a little longer for me to get pregnant because of medical issues and I broke down. I just assumed I can get pregnant whenever it suits me easily. I'm just thankful I can get pregnant, might take longer but as long as it will happen it's good. Also try not to stress too much (if possible) my mum went through this and the doc told her it won't happen if she's too stressed about it.. 3 months later she got pregnant.

    On a lighter note - the jacket looks gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Even if it does take a while, it will happen for you xx

      Delete
  25. My nana tried for 6 years to have a baby. She had given up & stopped taking her fertility meds(awful 1940s ones). A few months later she found out she was pregnant.
    It WILL happen for you. So don't stress out.

    Also about the skin thing. Mine was terrible until I was in my early 20s & then pretty bad until about 25-26. Its cleared up now & I seriously don't look my age. Oily skin is pretty awesome once you get past the pimples. :)

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    1. Wow! Love that story!! I don't even want to think about 1940 fertility medication haha.

      xx

      Delete
  26. I hear you loud and clear with the Clomid biz! I'm in the same boat and it can get very emotional with friends sometimes.
    Fingers crossed we have babies rockin their Lakers pacifiers soon :)

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    1. Haha yes!!! Our babies will be awesome. Cotton Socks suggested we name our baby Kobe. The Husband was all for it. I don't think so.

      Delete
  27. I never comment but read every post - sending you lots of love, thanks for your honesty x

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  28. Your baby is just extra special so is taking a while longer to find you.

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    1. That is such a sweet way of thinking about it xx

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  29. It will not matter if your baby is the result of clomid, IVF or even adoption. They are yours forever and it will be so worth the wait I promise you.

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  30. Bah! Why do people think it's okay to ask that kind of stuff - as soon as you get married it's all "when's the baby coming?" - spare a thought for lasses like yourself who are having difficulties and the nosy questions only make it worse!
    IMHO that's something the person in question should be bringing up themselves - whether they WANT a baby and can't have one, or they DONT want a baby etc etc.
    Boo!

    And *hugs* to you - you'll get there I'm sure of it. :-)

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  31. I saw your post on facebook about PCO and wondered if it was clomid making you have hot flushes. I have just been told I have PCO/PCOS (seems to be some people Dr's who think they are different things and some who think they are the same). I am guessing thats where you bad skin stems from as well? As a side effect of PCOS.

    My emotions are all over the place as well with regards to this. I am a year or two older than you, but don't want a baby until I am at least 30. I always thought that I would be like my friends though. Decide, then be pregnant the next month. It's not looking like that is going to be the case.

    I can only imagine what it feels like to hear that news when you are trying.

    It was nice to read your post. I haven't had anyone to talk to about it and I read so many differing opinions on PCOS on the net, it's hard to know what to believe.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Yaaa my bad skin and hairy face are all thanks to that bastard PCO haha. Damn it.

      Don't give up hope yet, some women fall pregnant straight away with PCO/S!

      You can always feel free to drop me an email and talk about it if you like x

      Delete
  32. There are plenty of people in a similar position, and while it's not a good thing that it's hard for so many, it certainly helped me to feel like less of a failure when I first went through a similar thing.

    At least we're young and doing something now, rather than in 5, 10, etc years.

    So sorry it's all a not crappy, but I have absolute faith that it will happen, Xx

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    1. Thanks so much Aly! It will definitely happen, I just need to be more patient lol xx

      Delete
  33. Sorry to hear about your fertility problems, but as you say, it could be worse. It will all happen when the time is right. The cliche thing is "things happen for a reason"... and whilst they do suck at the time, you can look back later and see why.
    x

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You are right, things happen for a reason and when the time is right, it will happen! x

      Delete
  34. Look at all your wonderful readers comments! What a wonderful little readership ... this post was totally worth an email (so I sent one). I hope it happens for you soon.

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  35. hun I just wanted to say thanks for your honest post, I have been reading your blog for over a year now and it is my favourite blog!
    You seem like such a nice person and I think you will make the best mum, so I have my fingers crossed for you. Regarding the issues you are having falling pregnant, this is something that worries me greatly. My partner and I will be trying for a baby in the next 12 months or so, and I am scared I will have the same issues as I have had issues with my hormones on and off, and also have gone over a year without a period and no idea why :(. My doctor told me not to worry about it, but I am 28 and don't have the time you have. I am thinking of insisting I get tested for PCOS and a pelvic scan, so whatever issues there are I can get them fixed now.
    Anyway I just wanted to say thank you for your honesty, and much love and I have my fingers crossed for you!
    xxooo Jane

    PS - I thought of poor Khloe K as well, I was watching her on the weekend and really felt for her with everyone harassing her about making a baby :(

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your sweet words.

      Please do not get worried yet! Make sure you schedule an appnt with your GP and get all of the standard blood work done etc before you start trying, and voice your concerns, that way they can monitor you a bit closer. 28 is YOUNG!!!

      Seriously, do not get stressed just yet! Good luck and I hope everything works quickly for you when the time comes xx

      Delete
  36. Hey Mez :)
    I know how you feel, re: medication. I have a mild IBS, which more often than not leads to sweating and being doubled over in pain. All at random in opportune times. Boo.
    I just keep a bottle of water with me at all times, and those little anti shine bits of paper to keep my forehead from being shiny.
    Chin up darling.
    Xxxx

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    1. Good suggestion on the blotting paper, I do find myself quite shiny after the hot flushes and my hair goes curly from the sweat haha!

      Thanks x

      Delete
  37. I'll be praying that you fall pregnant soon!!

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  38. Hey Mez,

    I have polycystic ovaries but only just found out. I have an 8 month old daughter, so had no idea I had PCO. You can read about woman with PCOS and there are so many success stories. So don't get too down on yourself! There are lots of women who have had wonderful success with clomid. I'm sure you will be pregnant soon! :) Xx

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    1. Congratulations on your daughter!!

      Thanks for the sweet message x

      Delete
  39. Hi Mez, love your blog, thank you for sharing this with us all. One thing that always come across when I read your posts is how kind, caring and thoughtful you are- you are going to be such a wonderful mum! It will happen for you, might not be the straightforward journey we all hope for but it will happen for sure. x

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    1. Thanks so much, that is really very sweet of you xx

      Delete
  40. Amen to everything you wrote. I am in a similar situation and i know how very hard it is and how low you can feel sometimes.. thank you for this post, i think its good to share this stuff... i dont think it is spoken about enough and it really is the hardest thing i have ever had to deal with in my life. Good Luck xx

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    1. Thanks for the comment. If you ever need someone to talk to about it, don't hesitate to drop me an email.
      Good luck to you too!! xx

      Delete
  41. My mum was told she would never have children, she tried for years. She had five of us.

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  42. Thank you for sharing :)

    Loving the yellow jacket!

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    1. Thanks :) It is so warm and amazing. I want more.

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  43. *hugs* I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through all that! You're much stronger than I could be that situation. PCOS is pretty freaking awful (and also unfortunately awfully common - I didn't know this until I had to learn about it at uni, it's not widely spoken about). Well done on being so brave and sharing this .. Frik, it must be so crazy hard. :(

    I have my fingers and toes crossed for good things to come your way. xxx

    p.s. That GP made a MASSIVE boo-boo - you're supposed to rule out pregnancy first for a huge bunch of presentations! Even I got tested when I was faint-y on GP placement (by the GP I was on placement with no less!!).

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    1. I had never even heard of PCOS before being diagnosed with PCO, I cannot believe that considering how common it is. It's borderline ridiculous.

      That GP is a moron. I had so many problems with him, had to change doctors.

      Delete
  44. Mez, I love when you write what's in your heart. I'm a PCOS girl too and as a newly married, I totally understand the rage when people ask all sorts of inappropriate questions. None of their business!! Someone the other day said smugly "well, the honeymoon can't have been THAT good" ie, you haven't come home pregnant. It took every bit of restraint not to kick him in the teeth.

    Keep on writing, have faith in your body and stay positive. It's hard. You aren't alone.

    PS. This is NeverEver from the Vogue forums. I have a new blog!

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    1. I have had similar comments. Never mind that I don't actually want kids for another five or so years! Just because you get married you need to have children! Although, the PCO/S thing is worrying my husband and he thinks we should start sooner rather than waiting now...

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    2. Emma - I cannot believe that about the honeymoon comment, some people just have no regards to other peoples feelings.

      Wow I just checked out your blog, your flowers are exquisite! xx

      Miss C - I feel for the women who choose not to have children and always have people asking when they are going to, how frustrating!! Don't let the PCOS worry you until you have been trying for at least 6 months xx

      Delete
    3. Yes, Miss C, some women with PCOS conceive straight away. My advice, and the advice I was given, is to see a good gynaecologist who you trust and get some tests done to see what's going on down there.

      Thanks Mez!

      Delete
  45. Hey Mez, fingers crossed for you... I had great success falling pregnant with help from this natural medicine clinic http://www.fertileground.com.au/. I wholeheartedly recommend them if you are looking for adjunct treatment to go with the Clomid. It will happen for you! Thinking of you. xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for that link, I am interested in Acupuncture, more so just for the fun of it haha and if it helps with fertility then count me in! x

      Delete
  46. I've got everything crossed for you and I'm sure things will be better soon! Don't stress and don't worry about people and their comments!

    I'm sure everything is going to be ok and a mini Mez is just waiting for the right time :)

    Off topic, have you seen the "Domestic Diva" coffee mugs at Woolworths? Reminded me of you :) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha I have not seen them yet but so many people have told me about them!! I will hunt one down!

      Thanks for being a sweetheart x

      Delete
  47. I don't really have any advice or anything to share as I have no idea about what it must be like to have to go through this, all I can do is keep my fingers crossed for you, you seem like an amazing person and this will happen for you.

    xx

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  48. Thanks for sharing Mez, as difficult as it is. I wish you all the best, fingers crossed, you have the most amazing supportive husband, stay positive! and I can see all your reader love and support you all the way. Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay I'm can't figure out how to do my own reply...it has been a long day in front of the scanner/photocopier.
      I hope you find a GP that is good....god know how many times my GP has seen me cry. I also HATE blood tests but have the most awesome blood taking guy down the road from work.
      It is so annoying cause the magic is taken out of just 'making a baby'. It is a hard road emotionally for you and as a couple.
      My husband spread the word about our journey to all his mates and that helps avoid the questions that make you feel hopeless.
      Of course the great thing is that lots of women take to the internet and blog about their journey.

      Delete
    2. MrsG - Thanks so much for your message! It has been amazing how many lovely supportive comments I have received, makes me glad that I blogged it.

      CBrain - My new GP is fantastic! She got straight to the root of my issues but if the clomid doesn't work in 3 cycles, she is sending me to a specialist.

      Your husband sounds like a clever fellow, it's good to get a heads up to not ask! x

      Delete
  49. Heya keep your chin up, I know it is hard but you are so lucky you got married so young and time is on your side!!! Trust me I am doing obstetrics at the moment as a student doctor and it is so horrible when you see these ladies in their late 30s where something goes wrong and they were hoping for this baby as they don't have many chances left. It's a hard time being a woman, seriously!!! So so so many heartbreaking Things happen so much more than you would imagine its just ppl don't talk openly about it. Ps just saw anladyblast with with absolutely severe severe pros and she managed to conceive thru I've, so just try to stay positive!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The misconception that fertility issues only happens to people over 30 needs to be talked about more in society.
      Stories about other women who had all these problems and fell pregnant don't really help those on an infertile journey.

      Delete
    2. Thanks for the comment :) You are both right, people do not talk about it nearly enough, and then you start TTC and BAM it's a shock!! x

      Delete
  50. Saw a lady last week... Ivf getting used to my iPad haha!

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  51. Good luck it will happen when you least expect it. Loving so much the yellow Zara jacket... gorgeous.. makes me want to zip over to Zara and check it out. How much was it by the way? You are very sweet and love your blog!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you!

      I think it was $130ish, they have different colours on the US website, I need more!

      Delete
  52. Hey, hoping that its not getting you too down but you have every right to feel upset by your situation. Nothing can prepare you for such a blow but maybe try to remember that people with your condition can go on to have children. Keep trying and try to remain positive. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I am keeping positive but some days (i.e. yesterday) the hormones just go a tad crazy haha.

      Delete
  53. Heya :) just wanted to say I love reading your blog and I've missed your regular posts.
    Sending you and your hubby lots of luck. I'm sure you two will make a beautiful baby xx

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  54. Look how much love you've gotten, I am so glad to see.

    I was very very sick once, stuck in bed for 5 years in fact, and was sometimes totally paralysed, unable to speak or open my eyes. I am all better now, but it took me a long time to learn that everyone feels their own. Just because I was completely disabled at only 20, it didn't mean that my brother didn't feel equally as shit when he had the flu.

    I think you are amazing for writing about your pregnancy challenges online. I hope you are blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby, because from this side of the screen you seem like a very loving, happy person - the kind that would make a great Mum.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story!!! That must have been so, so difficult for yourself and your family.

      Lets be honest, men act like they are on their deathbed when they are sick haha.

      Thanks so much for being so sweet! xx

      Delete
  55. Oh Mez. I really feel for you and you are so amazing for writing about your pregnancy challenges on your blog. Keep your chin up doll.
    I have my fingers and toes and everything crossed and I know you will soon become a mum and all of your dreams will come true.

    Lots of love xo Scames

    ReplyDelete
  56. I like blogs that are honest about their lives, and I imagine this must be hugely stressful at the moment so it's good to have an outlet sometimes! People who ask baby questions like that are just inconsiderate. I know it probably doesn't occur to them that there might be problems but really!? They should learn!

    Those candles sound great, I will have to check out her FB page. Thanks for sharing :) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, sometimes it is hard to be so honest with a bunch of people that you don't know in real life, but it can also be easier for that exact reason.

      x

      Delete
  57. I just wanted to let you know how brave I think you are by posting about your fertility struggles. I'm also an early 20s woman, and although I've not tried to conceive yet, several close friends my age are having similar problems to yours, which is just something no one ever talks about. It's really great you're being so open about your journey, and I feel really priveleged to hear about it. Even though I know most of us here only read your blog and don't know you in real life, I feel like I do (silly as it sounds!) Sending you lots of love! xx

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks so much for such kind words! I hope that by me talking about it, some of my readers who might be going through the same thing, know that I am always here if they need to talk about it!

      Delete
  58. I didn't even go through the same hassles as you, but it was still hard and emotional... and doesn't get easier once you're pregnant either. And why can't people mind their own business and not put the pressure on?! I hope you get through it ok. You'll get there eventually, but in the meantime I hope you get your happy spirit back. Hanging out with Cotton Socks must help, she seems fun.

    Agree the yellow jacket looks amazing :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Imagine what my hormones will be like when I am pregnant haha, oh no!!

      Cotton Socks is fun, and yesterday showed up at my work with roses for me to cheer me up!

      Delete
  59. Good luck, i have my fingers crossed for you. a friend has just started on clomid and it seems to be a bit of an emotional roller coaster xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I hope your friend conceives quickly too x

      Delete
  60. I am so glad so many people are replying to your post and offering support. Sometimes the upside of awful things happening is seeing how many people care and support you.

    I have never commented but love reading your blog. You are so adorable and funny (in the most non-creepy way possible, coming from a random stranger)

    You poor love going through this. It sucks and you deserve to complain. In my opinion you are doing the best thing, starting young and taking action to resolve your problems.

    You WILL become a mama, no doubt. And as a young(ish) (27 yo) mother of two, I promise you it will be worth this current heartache a million times and back again.

    Stay strong and sending positive vibes and lots of baby dust your way xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thanks for the sweet comment! That was not creepy at all :) :)

      x

      Delete
  61. Sending you love and good baby vibes Mez xxx
    So much support xxx

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  62. Hey Mez, I know what that pressure is like. I go through it too but cannot have children as yet because the Husband isn't ready. I have not even begun to do any fertility tests and your story makes me worried it may happen to me too. Stay strong and I hope everything falls in place for you when the timing is right.

    Beautiful Zara pieces by the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do not stress about it prematurely, that is my advice!! Hoping everything goes smoothly for you when your husband is ready :)

      Delete
  63. Hey Mez. Sending you lots of positive thoughts!! xx

    ReplyDelete
  64. GORGEOUS jacket! How much did you get it for?

    p.s. hope luck is coming your way soon =) it may happen when you least expect it!

    ReplyDelete
  65. Hey Mez, I have never commented before, but just wanted to add to this love in. I have had some fertility problems in the past and now my biggest fear ( although apparently unfounded) is not being able to breed.
    The biggest problem is that not enough women talk openly about this so we feel embarrassed and less"feminine" somehow... Thankyou for sharing.
    Talk. Cry. Feel better. Kisses and hugs to you, xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Breed. I love it haha.

      I agree with you, not that many women talk about it despite it being quite common, and if more people spoke about it, women going through it wouldn't feel so bad!!

      Delete
  66. Sending loads of baby luck your way!

    ReplyDelete
  67. I don't think you have to apologize to ANYONE for not telling them, nor feel any shame for taking the medication that could help you. Not everyone has an easy road to getting pregnant. IF I wanted to, clomid would be the first step, considering I've had cancer of the girlybits and that makes it HIGHLY unlikely that if I wanted to be pregnant (and I don't think I do) I could. It doesn't make you less of a woman, or girlwomanthing, that you're using the means available to get the family you want!

    Also, YOU are so dang adorable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for the comment ame, I appreciate you sharing your story and wisdom xx

      Delete
  68. I've never commented on your blog before but am a long time reader.

    I also struggled with infertility - 2 years of trying (in my late 20s) - after 1 year my family doctor referred me to a ob/gyn who prescribed Clomid - took it for 3 months (it didn't work - but I got THE WORST acne from it!) and then after a couple more months of charting, I went for a medicated IUI (with injections).

    As it turned out - my problem wasn't with ovulating - it was that my cervix was very narrow - so the IUI worked for me (am a proud mommy!)...but I must tell you - I'm SO glad I didn't wait and went for help while I was still in my 20s...it just makes it so much easier.

    I hated telling people I was trying because they'd say "just don't think about it, and it will happen for you....the day you stop trying, you'll get pregnant"...if I listened to their advice - I would never have gotten pregnant - it had NOTHING to do with me not RELAXING enough LOL!

    Anyway, I guess the point of my comment is to tell you - you're very brave to share - and good on you for seeking out medical help - I really hope it will work out for you soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love a 'long time reader, first time commenter' - welcome.

      Thanks for sharing your story with me, I am so glad the IUI worked for you!

      xx

      Delete
  69. Wishing you and your husband all the very best. Things will come good :)

    ReplyDelete
  70. I so relate. I have to start clomid in July if no success in next two months. I had an ectopic last year. Not many people know, and most people have the audacity to comment that 'I'm no spring chicken Anymore, better get cracking'. FFS. It's like you're not a real valuable woman until you've had kids. The things we go through....good luck xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good luck to you and hopefully the next two months pull through with the goods for you. If not, clomid isn't that bad, I'm just a whinger :P

      Delete
  71. Hi Mez, just wanted to say I am thinking of you and I hope it all works out for you <3 I think it's wonderful that you have shared your story, I have a close friend who has been through the same thing and I think it helps everyone to know that they are not alone. Big hugs xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I agree, it is nice to know that there are other people going through the same thing, and how relatively normal it is to have issues!!

      Delete
  72. what an honest post, thanks for taking the time and having the courage to share it. i wish you and the hubby all the best during what might be an incredibly emotional time :)

    ReplyDelete
  73. hey Mz! Dont dispare a little angel will visit you soon I can feel it in your bones. My friend had PCOS and she conceived and has a healthy baby girl now! What you should also look into to ramp up the process is the eastern side of mecidine too. Try and find an accupuncturist in Melbourne that specalises in fertility! My friend had this done and she ended up with TWINS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I ment Mez not Mz but Mz sounds cool too lol

      Delete
    2. Thanks girl!! I am considering acupuncture, just for the fun of it haha I am open to trying any ol' method. It doesn't hurt!

      When the doctor told me that twins were a common side effect of clomid, she said it like it was a bad thing but we would be stoked. Two with one stone haha, of course, one will be more than welcome :P

      Delete
  74. just wanted to say sorry to hear what you're going through and that I hope it happens for you soon! i'm glad you wrote the post I think it would help a lot of other girls who are in the same shoes as you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I hope it does help some other girls and let them know that they are not alone x

      Delete
  75. Oh honey! It is sooo common to encounter a problem during the process of falling pregnant. Your honesty helps in destigmatising issues like this. Baby related emotions are so raw and intense already, let alone with drugs messing with your hormones thrown in! It's all going to happen for you - stay cool lil girlwomanthing!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Haha I know, imagine my pregnancy hormones? YikeS!!

      xx

      Delete
  76. I am also a long time reader but never felt the need to comment until now.

    I am really touched by what you have written. My mum had really severe endometriosis and was told she would never have kids. She had me through IVF and then conceived my 2 younger brothers naturally. It took them 8 years of trying!

    Because of this I am very concerned about my chances of conceiving - we happen to have the most fertile friends who have all gotten pregnant within a month or two of trying, some of them literally tried once and BAM! Pregnant!

    I am getting married this year and we are thinking of trying next year. I am also really scared of being asked about kids because I already feel like it could be a hard, long road. I'm not going to tell you, relax it will all be fine, it will happen for you, etc, because you can't help but worry. But what I will say is that as women it's important to talk about this kind of stuff and put it out in the open, because saying that our lady parts don't work like they are 'supposed' to doesn't make us less of a woman!!!! The more we talk about it the less isolating and embarrassing this can be. Often we find when we talk about this we find sooo many people who are going through the same thing, so what you have done is so important. There are 80-something comments here...imagine all the people who also haven't commented.

    Well done on being so honest and I really, really hope it happens for you x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate you coming out of the wood work :)

      You and your brothers are miracle babies!

      Do not be concerned before you start trying, and then give it a minimum of 6 months before you even consider seeing a doctor!

      Thanks for such sweet words x

      Delete
  77. Thank you for posting this. I think it's so important to show both the light and shade of your life; things aren't always rainbows and lollipops. And this 'dark' part of your life is going to make your pregnancy that much more wonderful.

    Good luck. Good things come to those who wait :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed, nobody is perfect and we shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about the shitty things too. xx

      Delete
  78. Good on you for being brave and sharing. You have every right to be fed up and want to complain. I hate when people say "it could be worse, don't be ungrateful etc etc"... it's so undermining and dismissive. They are usually people who have never been through something similar. It is hard when you are going through medical issues and people don't understand.

    Clomid sounds horrible. My GP suggested I might have to take it because I have been on yaz for so long, but luckily not yet.

    Good luck! Positive vibes coming your way!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you don't have to take clomid, but if you do, at least it is a step in the right direction! xx

      Delete
  79. Not a fun thing to go through, that's for sure! I am rather ignorant about all this fertility business. We're not trying yet but I've always felt that it might be hard for me...is that a bit morbid? Anyway, good on you for talking about it! Sending you good vibes & luck. I have a feeling everything will be just fine. It's just frustrating that you have to go through this! and the side effects sound crap. You're a strong lady though, you'll get there!
    Heidi xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did a seyonce when I was in year 10 and someone asked it if I would have kids and it said no. pretty sure it was a frenemy pushing it around though. Always stuck with me lol.

      Thanks sweetie xx

      Delete
  80. Sending hugs your way and wishing you all the best

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't know what else to say other than that and think as positively as you can chickpea

      Delete
  81. If you get people sick of asking "when are you going to have a baby?", just tell them not until you buy a house, change the subject ;p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I should just say never, children are the devils spawn. that would get a good response haha.

      Delete
  82. Thanks for sharing and being soo honest Mez. We havent started trying yet, but this is something that worries me already =[

    Hang in there
    xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do not be worried about it before you start trying or you will be forever stressing!

      Delete
  83. Thanks for sharing Mez... This is what I love about your blog :)

    Look at all the love you've gotten!

    You will be a great Mum and I think we all have our everythings crossed for your and The Husband.

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  84. So sorry to read what you're going through Mez! You are one of the sweetest, funniest and nicest bloggers around and I truly hope that everything work out for you. xx

    Amy Yang

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  85. Hang in there and wishing you loads and loads of luck!

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  86. Hello DD,

    You're so brave with all of this.

    I am really, really hoping for you.

    You deserve all the happiness in the world which your future babies will no doubt bring.

    xx Elle

    ReplyDelete
  87. I found your blog at Purse Forum :-)
    I just wanted to say please hang in there as I've been there before. I went through infertility battle for 3 years before I got pregnant with my twins. It will happen, I promise and if you need to vent just send me a message. Btw, I noticed you are in Melbourne. I lived in Sydney for 15 years before I moved to the US. I'm planning to visit my family in Sydney very very soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations on your boys! I read your blog so already know how damn cute they are.

      Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!!

      How is living in Texas for you? x

      Delete
  88. Mez, a friend of mine had a similar problem. Except she basically wasn't ovulating at all. She started having acupuncture & fell pregnant 5 cycles after... give it a try if all else fails....... love x

    ReplyDelete
  89. As FF would say DD fingers and toes!
    I think your honesty and ability to connect with your readers will help you through this awful horible time.
    As others have said you are young but I think you knew something was not right and good for you for going with your gut instinct.
    I am hopeful for you and Mr DD that your desire to be parents will come to fruition sooon.
    Take care x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks a lot Kate!! You always have great advice for me :)

      Delete
  90. You know what I think about this from my texts.

    I feel in my waters that things will pan out for you doll. To be prescribed these meds means there is a chance, I know you've read the statistics. My fingers, eyes and toes are crossed for you I so desperately want you to be pregnant with me!!!!

    xox

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know my plans of being mums together haha!

      Delete
  91. Thought I had posted but I hadn't. Oops! Really feel for you. Sounds like an incredibly difficult time. As everyone else has said no need to refrain from complaining/whingeing. There is nothing wrong with complaining about your struggle, don't undermine it! It's a pleasure reading about how excited you are about having kids (it's so clear in your blog). It's so brave of you to open up about it. Really wish you all the very best. God bless. xx

    ReplyDelete
  92. Hi, I feel like i have to write, long time reader, first time commenter:)

    Just wanted to share a happy story for you to keep you positive.My friend had the same issues as you PCO and didn't ovulate enough, after doctors help and various medications with crazy side effects, she got acne on her back something severe. After approx 6 months of meds she fell pregnant and now have a very health 7 month old little boy.
    I'm sure everything will fall into place for you.

    your young and gorgeous and have plenty of years to practise and enjoy your happy marriage. :)

    x Tea

    ReplyDelete
  93. Hi there,
    I am a midwife and you would be surprised how many women are on clomid prior to conception.
    What is even more surprising is how many people keep it 'taboo' and don't speak openly about it. Please look into natural therapies, many people swear by acupuncture!
    Your honesty and bravery is admirable and i wish you the best of luck.
    Staying relaxed and stress free is the key and the rest will follow!!
    Emily x

    ReplyDelete
  94. Hi, I agree with everyone who has said thanks for sharing such a private and emotional time. People who have not been on the infertiliy roller coaster honestly have no idea about how painful it is. I started to 'try' to get pregnant when I was 27, I finally held my baby girl in my arms when I was 36. This was only after months of clomid, 9 AI cycles, 7 full IVF (with egg pickup) cycles and 10 frozen embryo transfers (Yes, 17 IVF cycles in all). We also had a miscarriage on our 10th wedding anniversary. But believe me it was all worth it in the end. I understand about the headaches and the hot flushes! I became incredibly muddle headed and my husband would find the butter in the cupboard and the sugar in the fridge! Trust that you will have a baby. Cry when you need to. Stay strong, talk to your friends who are capable of understanding. Continue to love your husband. Try to have a sense of humour about it all, as much as you can! Every night when I tuck my little girl in, I still am a little amazed at how lucky I am to have this being in my life! You will be just the same and your child will have such a wonderful life because of it! Good luck!
    Anna-Mother (eventually) of Sophie aged 5

    ReplyDelete
  95. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through, and as everyone else has said, thank you for sharing this information with us! Hopefully it will help people going through the same thing realise they're not alone.

    Best of luck with it all, and I know it will work out in the end. You will make a great mum, and you WILL be a great mum soon enough, because it's what you were born to do (amongst many other AWESOME things!) xx

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  96. I meant to write on this yesterday but got sidetracked by ACTUAL WORK- can you believe it? haha anyways, I wanted to say that even though I am no where near the baby making stage yet, I think it is great that you are sharing this.. there are girls out there probably feeling horrible too that are going to read this and feel a little less alone thanks to your honesty. I don't think it is silly at all that you are upset by this, everyone has their own individuals up and downs.. just try and stay positive, because everything happens for a reason and this is by no means a hurdle that you as an individual and as a couple, can't get over! xx

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  97. Oh Hun, I'm so sorry to read this. I'm sure your body and medication will come into alignment really soon. Keep your chin up, I have faith this will happen for you xx


    Killer yellow jacket btw! ;)

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  98. Something just make me come back and re read your post and I saw your addition. Sending you hugs!

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